Fucking anger man. Ugh to make someone you love feel like they are in danger around you. Feels bad. really bad. i know I’m not really a voilent person but even the carless, harsh handling of items, throwing things around, yanking on things, fuck, that’s voilent. I was angry and self-centered and I didn’t even realize the extent of what I was doing. in front of someone who’s been a victim of violent anger. Like enough to put them in the hospital. And I said I’d work on it.. I thought I was better.. I just felt so provoked, and so frustrated at myself for fucking other things up, goddddd dammit. He won’t talk to me. And wouldn’t look at me. He wouldn’t even glance at me. He said not to talk to him until i have a sponser. Which I was supposed to call someone earlier this week and didn’t (which I was frustrated about, why the fuck didn’t I do that?). So now I can’t. Shit. I can’t talk to him at all. What if I can’t find a sponsor tonight.
I fucked up.
So what else is new?
So. Sweaty.
Talkative slightly off guy in the bus, “you’re female, right?” “No, male.” “oh, okay. Somethin about your voice.” “yeah, i get that.” “so how long you been married?” “uhh, i’m not.” “oh alright.” and then he talked about travelling.
Lol this guy. Ferris was his name. He just left and said “alright bro” to me. I like /how/ he asked about my gender, it wasn’t condescending or anything.
indifferent-cats-in-amateur-porn:
Ignore that girl in the front, the cat (0:25 min.) is probably older than her.
This is literally the funniest thing I’ve seen today, i did not expect it to be that funny LOL
*delete long post about wanting car* i sound like such a greedy child! Ugh basically my parents don’t want to get me a car under $10,000 ‘cause they want something safe and reliable, however, they don’t have the $10,000 to spend on a car (nor do I).
Is there really nothing in the 4-6k range, even, that would be acceptable? It’s like an all-or-nothing deal here. my dad will only get a car from someone he ‘trusts’, ie: BMW. although ours/the family car, albeit old, has had its fair share of time in the shop.
it’s like, Lester either has to be car-less and miserable (that’s a bit of an exaggeration) or have super-perfect-car.
Was talking to my mom on the phone and definitely came off as an ass, though. Just sounded ungrateful. I’m not, but I’m just frustrated. 2+ years of busses and bikes and very stuck situations involving transportation is enough for me.
WORST ROOMMATE EVER
Guys i am a BAD ROOMMATE, I accidentally left the kitchen a mess (cleaned it up but still), accidentally got charcoal dust on the floor (i have to grind it myself), took up a lot of space in the fridge and now I think my roommate just caught me giving a BJ or rather standing at the door (fully clothed thank god) suspiciously closing it while someone MAY have been sitting pantless on my bed possibly in sight possibly not. FUCK i feel really bad, I want to apologize, but what if she didn’t ACTUALLY see? shit. I feel so badddd. Like this is a bad first impression. or first month. of roommateness. anyway. Crap. Hopefully when I’m home next I can at least apologize more thoroughly for the charcoal mess and offer to help clean more.
I think my roommate (the other one) is really passive-agressive and won’t actually confront me when I’ve done something that agitates her but rather bring it up sarcastically or later when I had no idea what I did bugged her. THIS IS MY HUNCH, i don’t really know for sure yet, but yeah. Agh.
