I haven’t wanted to say this because saying it would make it ‘true’. What’s been going on at the heart of my BF’s problem is not me, or that we need to break up, it’s that he’s been suicidal, triggered by family trauma in his childhood. So what’s he been doing.. trying to tell himself why we wouldn’t work out anyway, in the long run, etc.....
Also, last night I had a dream some little girl DIED at my school, like her heart exploded out of her chest (what), and the body was gone but there was this trail of blood going down the hallway and around the corner, with small shards of glass in the puddles. WAH.
Woke up crying again; same as 2 weeks ago, again nearly 2 days in to my T shot (when it peaks, apparently). I wonder if this will become a pattern. I can’t remember why I cried last time. This time i think it was fairly justified. Ugh. Woke up feeling so empty. Even if i still felt the same emotionally amd wasnt on T, i may not have come so quick to crying. So now i’m reading my...
So I’m not … sure, but that … kind of felt like breakup sex. Or something similar. passionate.. sensual.. silent holding one-another afterwards… but no ‘I love you’ .. i was afraid to say it because I didn’t know if he would reply… then left.. no spending the night… left on a kiss and a whisper “Goodbye, Lester.” ….so...
Got shot #2. Boyyy howdy! Didn’t get to inject ‘cause the only nurse allowed to instruct that was unavailable. A lot of travel for a 5-minute appointment. Left at 12:30 .. I’m on the last bus now, it’s 5:22. I’ll probably be in the door at 6.
Hi, my name is Lester and I’m good at fucking things up.
more relationship stuff
just got a call from my BF pretty much to say that he loved me… he sounded really sad… It’s like for a couple days every month he becomes apathetic, almost emotionless; very frustrating and difficult ‘cause I feel nothing I do will be enough, I can’t please him, etc. He was definitely feeling like that yesterday and the day before. It’s like he’s not...
Reddit. 900. 900 upvotes. (I gues actually more like (1498|598) … not bad.. ) INTERNET POPULARITY IS TOTALLY IMPORTANT GUYS. fuck real life dudez. but really, I might get some commissions offa dis. Someone asked me to help them design some beer labels but haha. I WORRY ABOUT GETING CREDITED. So I politely declined. i dunno man.
and I just got an e-mail from my favorite person at CoDA, one i hoped could be my sponsor (but she doesn’t sponsor) that she’s leaving. Why dis happen now. WHY ALL THIS HAPPEN.
are you for real
So I just got my period. When I noticed, all I could do was laugh. I mean, really? lol. Oh well. maybe it’s my last one.
BECAUSE YOU GUYS CARE
had a fucking shitty phone conversation with my boyfriend while he was fresh out of therapy and feeling apathetic. Don’t know what the future holds. Kinda feel like shit. When I feel sad I want to cuddle with my partner. But … oh. right.
i joined reddit today after stalking for a month or two and made my first post on the subreddit I mainly frequent (GUESS) AND IT’S ON THE FRONT PAGE UNDER “HOT”. SO COOL.
Me (after doctor’s appointment): thanks for waiting! BF: No problem. (shows magazine cover) I was reading about Brad and Angelina. Me: You mean Brangelina? BF: …….do we need a couple name? Me: …Yes. BF: …………can it be Tester? Me: God yes. Yes it can.
i think tumblr at my read more or I did it wrong anyway I think now I will masturbate and then feel bad about myself afterwards
Sooo.. for those that don’t know me and my BF kind of have a rule, no drinking alone. (For me, it’s smoking) He has strong views about drinking and only does when he’s really upset. I discovere he drank a bit this evening before I came over … because he was upset… and that was frustrating. and sad. But anyways the reason I went over was for a party for his roommate...
sailorsandshipwrecks: i’m going to be in california when the san diego comic con is and i got really excited because i could possibly finally get to go but tickets are sold out which is obvious but yeah. this is my life you guys. calm down i know it’s exciting BUT HEY YOU CAN VISIT ME?
poop I wanna celebrate 420. I THINK IT’S KINDA LATE.
anti-climatic, but done with finals. fucking done, man.
Anonymous asked: ur butt n my butt. makin babe butts.
the temptation to instagram a photo of my poop is very strong
i’m on T!
shit you guys I just remember I had a nightmare last night. Was in the house I’m currently in and my roommate’s door was like, locked or something, and all of a sudden I’m hearing sirens (may have been some going off nearby, I live right by a fire station), and the roommate is some how retrieved from his room and put on a stretcher and like.. he was DEAD. I don’t remember...
“I would like run and drop everything, grab my camera, and like run and shit my pants for ten years and tell everyone i know.” -Nicole (in response to this image)
horny. Not unbearably, but still it-wont-subside horny. pretty sure the T is partially responsible. I mean, I’ve heard of it acting this fast, so..
IT HAS BEEN DONE
I did the shot all by myself!! :D “hold it like a dart.. Then stick it in just like a dart”. It was kinda weird watching me stab myself.. And have it not hurt (initially, but even afterwards it was hardly painful.) I’M A BIG BOY.
AT THE CLINIC
Gon’ get my first shot in AN HOUR :D
The Lair: Airy and full of light: A quick note on... →
hobbitdragon: When someone calls you out about something you did or said, whether it was something bigoted or something personally hurtful, here are a few great responses. If it helps you can just memorize them so you have them on hand when you’re upset/scared/angry/hurt that you just got called out. “Thank…
also: TWO DAYS.